A Hulahoop at Hogwarts
by Dragon Claymore
Summary: Complete, One Shot, PWP, Two michievious spirits' journey to Hogwarts in search of fun and adventure. Just what is a muggle toy doing on Hogwarts grounds anyway?


Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Ms. Rowling. We're just having a spot of fun with it.

This is the first in a series of one-shots, completely PWP but a lot of fun.

_**Sirius and a Hula-hoop!**_

By two mischievous spirits.

On the ethereal plane a large crowd has gathered to hear performances by two friends.

A figure walks out on stage.

'Welcome, welcome one and all. Wildfire and Dragon have promised us some of their best stories over the next performances. So as the mortals say: sit back, relax and enjoy the show!'

Wildfire files onto stage and lands on an elegant gold perch. _'I bid thee welcome to a brand new adventure at Hogwarts. I can promise you it will be like no other as it is purely about mischief. I the Mischievous Phoenix ask that you keep this in mind as you hear our tales.'_

Dragon saunters onto stage opposite Wildfire, and says, **'what you are about to see... -- damn how does that go?'**

Wildfire laughs, _'Dragon, did you forget to memorize your lines again?'_

Dragon frustrated mutters, **'Damn it! I had it -- you and those damn mortal memory charms. Would you stop?'**

Wildfire, with a look of fake surprise, _'But WHY? Dear Dragon, you said you could memorize the lines despite that charm.'_

Dragon glares at the phoenix; **'Yeah and you probably threw in that curve so I couldn't…'** pauses, thinking.

'**I GOT IT! What you are about to see is a temporary distortion of reality... please keep in mind you aren't really there -- well you are but you aren't, care to explain?'**

Wildfire fills in, '_You are there but only in spirit. Nothing you say or do will affect the outcome of the story I'm afraid. But EVERYthing we do will. Enjoy, and please...do watch that first step.'_

Lights flash by as the audience is sent hurling down through a tunnel at a speed that would rival any goblin mine cart, before abruptly stopping before the Forbidden Forest.

Dragon explains, **'Here we are at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the era is the mid- 1970s according to their calendar. October and school is out for the weekend. A particular fifth year is about to go wandering around after hours.'**

Wildfire continues, '_Not a particularly good move on his part, but then again, he likes to listen to mischievous voices that tell him where interesting things might be happening.'_

'**And he has been listening to the -- more mischievous two. Weaving tales about the forest.'** Dragon smiles.

'_And how he'll find an item of a rather ...interesting nature. Now being as he's a pure-blood wizard, he has no idea what he's in for.'_

Dragon shakes her head, **'Poor foolish boy.**

**Now he is -- what mortals call -- and unregistered animagi.'**

'_A grim no less. What a particularly mischievous form.'_ Wildfire elaborates, smiling.

Dragon nods, **'Very, and he has been up to more than just this -- but that doesn't play in our story -- yet. About half a league into the forest he 'decides' to sit for a minute under a tree.'**

Wildfire, in a dramatic whisper, _'There in the darkness of the forest he finds the item he seeks, a rather bright item. Which I'm sure intrigues him even more. And so after he rests for a bit he 'decides' to take the item back to his friends. The poor boy doesn't know what he's in for.'_

'**Now up in the dormitories he shows his prize to his best friend.' **

Wildfire waves her wing and continues, _'And this is where the real fun begins.'_

'Sirius, where on earth did you get that?' Remus asked.

Sirius shrugged,

"I found it in the Forest! It was like it was just waiting there for me to find it. I had to bring it back! Isn't' it great!" Sirius cried out as he showed off his prize a bright pink with green pin stripes hula-hoop.

'Do you even know what that is?' Remus asked.

"Nope, but it looks neat." Sirius told Remus as he continued to look over the odd item.

Remus rolled his eyes. Just then James, Lily and Peter stumbled into the room.

"Jamesy! Look at what I found, isn't it great!" Sirius greeted his friend loudly.

James looked the item over with skepticism. 'And just what is it that you've found?'

"I have no idea, but I was thinking we could tie Snivellis up with it." Sirius grinned.

"Where did you find a hula-hoop near Hogwarts?"

Sirius shifted uncomfortably, 'I found it, well; I think it may have been left for me.'

Lily was frustrated, 'and you didn't think there'd be any harm in picking something up without knowing what it was.'

Sirius became defensive 'Padfoot didn't smell or sense anything wrong with it.' He flopped onto his bed pouting.

"Lils, you know what that thing is?" James asked trying to smooth things over before an argument broke out.

Lily sighed, 'It's a hula-hoop, a muggle toy quite popular right now.'

"What does it do?" Sirius asked excited to see an actual muggle toy, even though he had always heard that they weren't nearly as exciting as wizarding ones.

Lily took it away from Remus and pulled it over her head.

'You use it like this.'

Moving her hips in the circular motion to keep the hoop spinning around her body, Lily showed the boys how muggles played with the toy.

"Padfoot...I thank you." James said as he watched Lily's hips move.

Sirius sat in his bed mesmerized, 'Prongs can I borrow her?'

James, grabbed Lily's arm, pulled her towards him, causing the hula-hoop to fall and Lily to fall on his lap, "She's all mine Padfoot."

Sirius mock pouted, 'you never did learn to share did you Prongs-y.'

"I never had to Padfoot-y." James replied as he held Lily close.

Dragon interrupts, **'Now, now what an interesting situation Sirius has found himself in. Poor mortal so many ideas he's not sure which one to pursue first.'**

Wildfire shrugs, '_Not that it mattered. A simple duplication spell and soon, there was enough hula-hoops for the entire student body of Hogwarts, including the staff.'_

Dragon chuckles, **'But a certain group heard of the origins of said item and refused to have anything to do with it... well they didn't until...'**

Wildfire winks at the crowd,_ 'We could tell you, but it's so much easier to show you.'_

A group of annoyed Slytherins walk into the Great Hall...or at least try to as they have had a hula-hoop charmed and their bodies, hexed to attempt to keep the muggle toy up.

One particular person was having a rather difficult time with the charms.

'_Poor Severus Snape...he never did seem to have a sense of humor.' _Wildfire comments.

Dragon whines, **'Awweee but that made everything that much funnier to everyone else. If you want to really pity someone -- pity the headmaster. Yes, Dumbledore thought it was a wonderful joke but his position made his opinion irrelevant.'**

Wildfire trying to redeem their actions, _'Yes, yes, but we made up for that didn't we?'_

'**We tried to. Oh boy, did we try.'** Dragon rolls her eyes.

Wildfire pouting, _'Well I can't help it if he didn't like those lime pops. I was sure he would. He likes lemons!'_

Dragon mockingly continues, **'So now whose idea was it to change the lime to lemon?**

**Come on,'**

'_YOURS!'_ Wildfire angrily pouting.

Dragon nods,** 'Thank you! And your expansion on my idea was priceless.'**

Wildfire smirking at Dragon, _'But it didn't work near as well as you wanted. Now did it?'_

Dragon pouts, **'Hey the lemon popsicles were good. You're just smirking because he liked your ideas better.'**

'_Of course. Fawkes and I get along, so of course he liked me better.'_ Wildfire says as she puffs up her feathers.

'**Well at least I don't have to die to produce fire. I breathe it!' **Dragon adds in a haughty tone.

'_I can produce fire just FINE without dying, thank YOU very much! I burnt Snapey's notes didn't I?'_ Wildfire replies with an air of distain.

Dragon retorts, **'Well I burned his potions cupboard in the time it took you to burn a measly stack of notes.'**

Smiling, Wildfire says, _'Only because there were explosive ingredients in it!'_

A voice coughs from off stage and both spirits turn.

'_Oh, yes...the story...now...where were we?'_

Dragon becomes agitated, **'It would have been gone just as fast without those ingredients! I RULE FIRE!'**

'_YOU DO NOT!'_ The phoenix replies, fire bursting from her tail feathers.

Dragon roars, **'I DO SO! AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!'**

'_THEN WHY AM I THE ONE WHO CAN FLY TO THE SUN AND NOT BURN TO A CRISP?'_

Dragon continues the argument, **'WHO'S THE ONE THAT STARTED THE GREAT LONDON FIRE?'**

'_WHO STARTED FIRE PERIOD?'_

'**ME!**' Dragon puffs out her chest proudly.

Wildfire, deathly angry, continues, _'DO I have to take this up with Prometheus AGAIN!'_

Dragon pouts, knowing she'll lose, she changed tracks, **'Later, back to our story,'** She couldn't resist adding, **'-- and we all know just who is Prometheus' lap 'dog.'**

**coughwildfirecough'**

'_Just because he likes me better for being an elegant creature rather than'_ the phoenix turns her head away from Dragon, _'an ugly beast doesn't mean you HAVE to show your jealousy.'_

Dragon says in a low tone,** 'Low blow even for you. And that's saying something.'** Haughtily she continues, **'Then again I get to help Zeus with his lightening bolts.'**

Holding her head up high, Wildfire replies, _'And I help Apollo light the world.'_

'**I started the sun.'**

'_You did not, now admit it!'_ Wildfire looks disdainfully at Dragon

'**Sure I did.'**

'_Dragon I was there. You were a pup, incapable of breathing fire when the sun was started!'_ The phoenix states as though she was a professor.

Dragon roars, **'I WAS NEVER A PUP!**

**I AM A DRAGON TO BE RESPECTED! FEARED FOR MY WRATH -- LIKE NO OTHER...'**

Pauses and continues in normal voice, **'Back to our story...'**

'_She's a little touchy about the Dragon's wrath thing, if you can't tell...'_ Looks over at Dragon's angry face, _'Right, back to the story.'_

Severus was never a happy person but this day he was in a particularly foul mood.

Some how the dreaded Marauders had found a way to hex him with this ridiculous muggle toy and now he was unable to take it off, or stop moving his hips in the embarrassing movements to keep the stupid thing spinning.

The really nasty thing -- to Severus -- was that about half the Hogwarts population was looking at him with a certain gleam in their eyes.

While the four Marauders were snickering at Severus' predicament, their Head of House wasn't. The transfiguration's professor walked briskly down the aisle between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables as the four pranksters tried to put on their best, 'we're innocent' faces. Stopping behind Remus and Peter, the stern woman looked down at the main causes behind the morning's disruption.

"You four, detention with Mr. Filtch this evening."

'But Professor, we didn't...' Sirius tried to protest but the rest of his reasons died on his tongue at his Head of House's expression.

"No one else would have had the guts to do...this," McGonagall said as she pointed out the Slytherins whom were trapped by the hex, "Mr. Black. And you have earned yourself another detention, tomorrow, also with Mr. Filtch."

Sirius appeared ready to protest further, but Remus held out a hand and stopped him.

McGonagall looked each of the four in the eye before continuing, 'Now, how are these spells removed?'

'_How were they removed, I forgot...we never did tell them how to remove the spells...'_ Wildfire looks thoughtfully over at Dragon.

'**I think they were time-spelled, but I don't remember for how long...' **Dragon ponders with a wicked grin on her face.

'_Oh come now... I thought Dragons were supposed to have LONG memories.'_ the phoenix patronizes the Dragon

Dragon arrogantly gestures to their audience, **'Well I do remember but why tell THEM, after all do you remember what Uranus did LAST time we time-spelled something mortal?'**

Wildfire pauses to think, _'He...'_ She pauses for a bit longer, then thoughtfully replies,_ 'that was before my last burning wasn't it?'_

Dragon nods, **'yup.'**

'_And you expect me to remember something through that?'_ Wildfire asks confused.

Dragon shrugs, '**You remember everything else.'**

'_But I don't WANT to remember...'_ Wildfire whines, then starts to raise her voice in protest _'It was MEAN, it was NASTY, it was HORRIBLE!'_

Dragon pouts, **'He said we deserved it... and it was only for a hundred years.'**

'_But it was COLD!'_ The phoenix exclaims.

'**Yup, damn cold.' **Dragon says agreeably.

'_This is making me cold...'_ Wildfire shudders. _'And no where NEAR my burning...'_ the phoenix shudders again, then returns to the story, _'anyway, the Mauraders had to forfeit their secrets...and earned another detention for being irresponsible with their hexes...' _

Dragon suddenly remembers, **'Oh, and Sirius' extra detention with Filtch… well, let's just say neither party soon forgot it.'**

'_Yeah, Sirius almost stopped listening to those mischievous spirits!'_ Wildfire pouts.

Dragon sneers, **'His impertinent hide! I very nearly had to beat some sense into him.'**

'_Oh yeah a great big dragon stomping around Hogwarts would have done WONDERS for him'_ the phoenix trills sarcastically.

'**Well, at least this time subtlety worked.' **Dragon sighed.

Wildfire pouts again _'Yeah, but it took almost to the end of those detentions to get him to listen again.'_

Dragon nods, and continues, **'But the important thing is that he did. As we close this tale I would like to remind everyone that we have many more tales to share and will continue tomorrow...'**

'_With another Hogwarts adventure!'_ The phoenix proclaims.

Both storytellers bow and leave the stage.

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Be nice it's my first posted fic. Please review and remember it's all in fun.

And Remember, we like fire, for flames won't hurt us.


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